


a spider sewed at night

by ShanaStoryteller



Series: where thou art, that is home [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 10 year age difference, F/M, Faeries - Freeform, I have no excuses, M/M, STEREK YO, Starbucks, fae, i'm not sure how this happened?, or something, read it because i have no reason please just read it, stiles and scott are preists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanaStoryteller/pseuds/ShanaStoryteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the summer between junior and senior year, and they have to deal not only with demanding, dangerous Fae, but with the arrival of their two latest Coven members. </p><p>" Scott rubs the back of his head, "Dude, this is kind of gay."<br/>"Dude, we're kind of gay. I'm in love with a man. We've made out. And don't think for one second I haven't seen those looks you give Isaac. Which might actually work out, I bet Cory is just the kinkiest little shit deep down."<br/>Scott flushes red and hauls himself up onto Charlie. "Shut up," he wraps his arms around Stiles's waist, "We're riding into town shirtless on the back of silvery unicorn named Charlie while drunk off our asses from fae magic."<br/>"We've made all the correct life choices," Stiles says happily before urging Charlie forward. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	a spider sewed at night

**Author's Note:**

> this week on 'i don't know what i'm doing with my life and i'm not sure how this happened'  
  
a spider sewed at night  
without a light  
upon an arc of white.  
  
if ruff it was of dame  
or shroud of gnome  
himself himself inform.  
  
of immortality  
his strategy  
was physiognomy.

\- Emily Dickinson

 

Stiles's feet are throbbing and covered with slowly drying blood. The bottom of his pajama pants are soaked with mud, and at least it's summer because he's shirtless and traipsing around the woods in the middle of the night. "Are you really certain I couldn't have grabbed my shoes?" The faintly glowing faerie twitters angrily, and he puts his hands in front of his chest, "Okay! Okay, I was just asking. I don't suppose you could tell me what this is about?" For a being roughly the size of his hand, she manages condescending pretty well. He sighs, ducking under a low hanging branch, "Look, I get that you guys seem to think I'm at your beck and call now, but it's summer and I could be home right now, in bed with my boyfriend. Instead I'm out here following you to who knows where, and I don't really-" She darts forward knicks his nose with her claws, "Ow! You little shit, I didn't sign up for-" They've broken through a clump of trees, and he knows this area, and there is not supposed to be clearing here. A perfectly circular clearing, with groups of glowing fairies. "Oh god, I'm in a fairy circle, I'm going to die."

Their tiny bodies shake with their laughter, and there's a soft whinny to his left. "Hey Charlie! Dude, good to see you! What, okay, why are you taking me this way? Um, fairy folk, that's a hole, that's a really big hole, I don't really want to, oh shit!" Dozens of tiny hands pitch him over the edge, and this is really the worst decision he's ever made, because he's falling for what feels like minutes and is possibly hours until he hits the bottom, flat on his back and breath stolen from his lungs.

"High Mage," a soft musical voice intones, and he squints his eyes open to a face that's impossibly beautiful as long as he doesn't stare at it straight on for too long, "We've been waiting for you."

He gives a quick glance around, and their glamours don't really work on him, not really, and all the beauty of these people flickers like a crappy television set, revealing visages no less beautiful but far more sinister. "Please, please tell me I'm not in the Fae Court."

She cocks her head and pulls him to his feet with the deceptive strength of her race, "This is indeed the Fae Court, and you are an honored guest. Come, the king and queen wish to break words."

He tries to hide the shaking of his hands as he gestures to his bare, dirty body, "I'm not exactly dressed to see royalty."

"We care little for the draping of your mortal body," her fingers brush his cheek, "when your magic burns so bright."

He swallows, ignores the curious gaze of the other fae on him, and follows the girl, "I don't suppose I'll be leaving anytime soon?"

"You are our honored guest. You will meet with the monarchs, and then you shall join us in our dance. Should you be alive come dawn, I will escort you to the mortal realm personally."

"Awesome," he mutters, vainly trying to brush some of the dirt of his chest, "that's great."

 

From the position of the sun, it's nearly seven in the morning, and he's not sure if that's because the fae cheated, or it just took that long to travel to his realm. The fae mockingly bows to him, and she's almost see through in direct sunlight, "Until the next time, High Mage." She slips out of his realm with an equally mocking smile on her lips.

The faeries are gone, but Charlie's nibbling on the grass and Stiles didn't know unicorns could side eye, but apparently they can. "I know where you are now," he says, "and you're going to have to make up being so totally useless to me later. But I'm going to go home now. Try not to get tricked by the thrice damned fairies."

Charlie snorts. Stiles shakes his head before beginning to head back home.

 

He walks into his kitchen, and the split second view he has of his dad and his boyfriend clutching coffee at the kitchen table and looking worried is kind of cute before they notice him.

"Stiles!" Derek says, slamming the cup down hard enough that some sloshes over the side, "What happened to you?"

"Where have you been?" his dad adds, and they're both hovering in his space without quite touching him, and that's probably due to some of the fae magic he still has clinging to him.

He scratches the back of his head, and by the look on both their faces he thinks he just reopened the gash along his ribs. "Hey. It looks worse than if feels, because I don't feel anything! Yay! Or not. Did you know there's a portal to the Fae Realm on the Hale preserve? Also I found Charlie."

Dad's face crumples in confusion, but Derek's has drained of most of its color, "You went to the Fae Realm? Stiles!"

"Not on purpose!" he scowls, "The faeries led me there. I didn't know _why_."

"And you followed them anyway," Dad sighs.

Stiles shrugs, because well, _yeah_. Derek's hand curls around his upper arm, but jerks away as he hisses, "Stiles, you're freezing! What the hell?"

The place where Derek touched him starts to tingle, "Yeah, fae magic. Prevents you from feeling cold or pain and stuff so you keep dancing."

As one both pairs of eyes dart to his feet, and he left a bloody trail the entire way here. He's stood still long enough that small pool of blood around his feet has started to congeal. Dad curses, and Derek makes a soft, distressed noise in the back of his throat. "Come on, you need to shower and warm up, and then we can fix that."

"That an offer to help?" Stiles waggles his eyebrows.

Derek's face twists in horror as he pointedly doesn't look at the Sheriff. Stiles cringes a little, but when he looks over his dad has his hand over his eyes. "Go," he says mournfully, "go, the both of you. Jesus Christ."

"Best Dad ever," Stiles beams, "Call Danny, okay?" He doesn't get more than a half step forward before Derek's hauling him into his arms, being unusually careful so as to not press against any of his bigger bruises. "Caveman Derek is my favorite Derek."

Dad moans, and Derek hisses, "Stiles!" but he giggles the whole way to the shower.

 

Derek is unusually quiet as the shower fills the bathroom up with steam and he peels away Stiles's tattered pajama bottoms. After a few stubborn tugs, Derek chucks off his own clothes and crowds Stiles under the hot spray. He shivers as it hits his back, and then winces when feeling slowly starts to come back to him. "Shit," he hisses, swaying at the rush of pain as the fae magic wears off. Derek tilts Stiles against his chest so he doesn't have to focus on standing up, and uses gentle hands and quick fingers to clean away the dried sweat and crusted blood. Stiles lets out a long shuddering breath, because he's sore and exhausted, but he's home. His dad is downstairs, and Derek is _right here_ -

Stiles wraps his arms around Derek and listens for his heartbeat, matching his exhalations to the steady rhythm until he doesn't feel like he's going to shake apart. "Hey," Derek tugs on his hair, tilts his head just enough so he can kiss him softly, "It's over, you're okay."

He shakes his head, reaches up to curl his hand around the back of his boyfriend's neck and push their foreheads together. "It's not over."

Derek's hands dig into his hips, and Stiles wants them to bruise, wants a mark of possession on his skin from someone who matters, "What do you mean?"

"We need to call a meeting," he breathes instead of answering, and shoves their mouths together. Derek opens for him, like he always does, and he won't let them do anything really fun while he's injured, but he slips his hand between Derek's thighs. His boyfriend gasps, already half hard in his hand, and Stile's body is a throbbing ache, but he _needs_ this. "Please," he bites a mark into Derek's skin that'll be gone by the time he moves his mouth.

Derek's hand settles protectively over the gash on his ribs, "Okay." He leans back against the shower, tilted at just enough of an angle that Stiles can comfortably hitch his leg up against Derek's hip. He presses his lips to Derek's pulse while the older man sets his hand against his back. They count each other's heartbeats as they move together, and the numbness in Stiles's chest falls away as easily as it had from his skin.

 

They're both in sweatpants and t-shirts. Stiles would be more embarrassed about Derek carrying him bridal style into his kitchen full of their pack if his feet weren't threatening to split open anytime he put pressure on them. "Hey guys!" he waves, "Fancy meeting you here."

"What did you do now?" Scott demands. Derek easily transfers his hold on Stiles to Scott, and okay, he's starting to feel a little like a damsel in distress now as his best friend carries him over to the couch in the living room. The rest of the pack trails behind.

"Nothing!" he pouts, "Well almost nothing. Can I explain after I'm no longer in pain?"

Danny elbows Scott out of the way, "I don't know if you deserve to be healed. Maybe if we left you to suffer more, you'd take better care of yourself." In spite of his tone and the tight lines around his eyes, Danny's hands are gentle as they rest against the bottoms of his feet, repairing the damage there first and spreading his magic up through the rest of his body without touching it, which isn't something he could have done a year ago.

As the bruises and cuts disappear, a loud gasp grabs his attention, and there are two women in the room he's never met before. "Hey!" he waves, "Braeden and Emily, right? When did you get here?"  

They share an uncomfortable glance before Braeden says, "This morning, High Mage. Your second called us and requested our presence."

Stiles makes a face as he pats Danny on the shoulder in thanks, "Ew, don't call me that. I'm Stiles. Unless we're dealing with outsiders, we're pretty informal. Sorry to call you in right away. We could have given them time to settle in." The last part is directed at Lydia, who shrugs.

"Better to get them used to the crazy earlier, jumping in feet first and all that, right? So tell us what happened."

"It was the faeries, wasn't it?" Cory says, "Tell me it was faeries."

"It was _not_ faeries," Peter growls, "Stiles, tell her!"

Stiles frowns, "You guys made a bet, didn't you?"

"Of course," Cory and Peter say in unison, and Isaac makes a valiant, although unsuccessful, attempt to pretend he doesn't think it's adorable.

Emily bites her lip before saying, "You bet on what caused your superior's injuries? Isn't that a little, uh, unprofessional?"

The pack turns to give her various looks of incredulity, and Erica says, "Oh, honey."

"She's new," Boys whispers, giving his girlfriend a pointed _behave_ stare.

Erica flips her hair over her shoulder, "Obviously. Look, after this Lydia, Jackson, Boyd, and I will take you to get your nails done, and we'll explain how this works."

Emily and Braeden skitter their gazes to Stiles, who holds up both hands in front of his chest. "Standard initiation rite for new recruits. As in we did it once, and it turned out okay, so why not. If you're worried about technicalities, there's no rush. I can't swear you in to the coven until the next full moon, and that's still a week away."

"Sir," Emily ignores his cringe, "Why do we have to wait for the full moon? Initiates can be sworn in at any part of the moon phase."

Lydia answers before he can, twirling a lock of hair around her finger, "We did it once, and it turned out okay, so why not."

 

"I don't like this," Derek says flatly, closing the door behind him and Allison.

Stiles shrugs, "I know. None of us like it. But we have to go."

"You do _not_ have to go," Allison scowls, leaning against Stiles's bed to tuck herself up against Scott and put an arm around his shoulders. "In fact, I'm with Derek on this. I'd really prefer if neither of you went. It's not like you're obligated."

"We kind of are," Scott winces, "Also, shouldn't we be having this conversation with everyone else?"

"Why?" Allison shrugs, "High Alpha, High Mage, Head of the Coven, Alpha, Matriarch. Everyone who matters. Besides, we already know everyone else's opinions."

Derek growls as he throws himself on the bed and curls around Stiles, "I can't believe Peter. Or Cory."

"Yes, you can," Scott sighs, "and Boyd agrees with them too. Generally, when the three most levelheaded, impartial members of our pack agree on something, we should listen to them."

"Except for the part where literally everyone else thinks it's a bad idea," Derek says, "Including us. So don't."

Stiles flings out his arm so he can put it on Scott's head, "I'm sorry to say it buddy, but they were pretty insistent that we return. This time the King and Queen of the Dark Fae will be there, and I'm not built for that."

Scott pats Stiles's hand, "And I wouldn't last two seconds among the Light Fae. We still don't know what this is about?"

"Not really," Stiles says, "Well, I mean, kind of. I know they want us to help with a wedding, but they weren't too keen on getting specific until the both of us are together. Maybe they want to marry us to each other?"

"I'm down," Scott says, "I'll wear the dress - you're so pale miles of white lace will just wash you out, while I with my fabulous golden skin will look awesome."

"That's cool, just means I'll be the top on our wedding night."

Scott pouts, "What if I want to top? We shouldn't fall into stereotypes."

"Scott, bro, I obviously have more experience with anal sex than you. I should clearly be the one on top."

"Just because you have _more_ experience doesn't mean I have _none_." Scott's jaw clicks shut. Allison coughs.

Derek covers his face with his arm and Stiles laughs, "Well, all right, you can do me up the ass. But it has to be against a tree. Scott, as my best friend and future husband, I really need you to fuck me up a against tree."

"If we're really going to the Fae's realm, there should be a lot of trees. I'm sure that can be arranged," Scott says thoughtfully.

Derek growls, "I don't like you two going there alone, especially since we don't know what they want. Why do you have to do this?"

"They have a right to call on us," Scott says, "As High Mage and High Alpha, we're on the top of the magical hierarchy. We're their - not, rulers, or anything, but as the most powerful known source of both light and dark magic, it's not in our best interest to ignore their requests."

"Would they go to war?" Allison asks sharply.

Stiles shrugs, "No, they wouldn't win. Not in our realm, and probably not in theirs either. Could Scott and I stop an incredibly powerful magical race from decimating the mortal realm? More likely than not, but it might just be easier to go see what they want."

"It's _dangerous_. If you go of your own free will, you're bound by their magic," Derek insists, like it's new information. "You won't be able to overpower them in those circumstances. The Dark Fae are especially vicious."

"I can handle it," Scott says confidently, "They depend more on their physical strength, while the Light Fae depend more on their magical skills. Which means that Stiles and I are perfect for dealing with them."

Derek brings Stiles's hand to his mouth so he can kiss his inner wrist, "I wish you didn't have to go alone."

"Sure we can't come along?" Allison nudges Scott.

"Absolutely not," Stiles says, trying not to distracted by the slow drag of his boyfriends lips over his skin, "Scott and I will get a little banged up, more me than him, but we'll make it out just fine. You two would be dead five minutes in."

"And I'd like my girlfriend and future brother-in-law alive please," Scott kisses Allison's cheek.

She and Derek both scoff and mutter "Fine," at the same time. Allison tilts her head back and Derek props himself up on his elbow so they can share a long, familiar look that says _why are our boyfriends so stupid they never listen to us and always go running into danger alone god they're such morons_.

"I hate when they do that," Scott mutters. Stiles rubs his best friend's head in agreement.

 

Danny tosses a ball of green magic magical energy to Lydia, and it turns black while spinning in between her fingertips, "So what do you think of the new recruits?"

She throws it to Stiles, and it turns white even before he catches it, "They're all right. Too formal for my taste, but their power is pretty strong, They'll be good assets."

"But will they get along with the pack?" Stiles asks, pulling the  condensed ball of magic apart until it's roughly the size of a basketball before sending it back to Danny.

She tucks her hair behind her ear, "Maybe. They're skittish, but seem loyal enough. Send Cory to handle Emily, and Peter to handle Braeden. Then follow them both up with Boyd, and they won't know what hit them."

Danny's dragging his fingers over the ball, adding blue and green to turn it into a globe, "They don't know what to make of us. Did you see their faces when I healed you? They're not used to magic like ours."

"They'll get used to it," Stiles flicks the globe so Australia slides a little North. Danny glares. "They'll have to."

Lydia shrugs, inspecting her flawless nails, "Or at the end of the week, we can tell them thanks, but no thanks, and they can go home."

Danny and Stiles share an uncomfortable look, but don't contradict her.

 

"How long until you guys are going?" Laura asks. They're in the living room of the Hale House, and she's busy plaiting Pete's hair into braids. For a twelve year old boy he's being remarkably complacent about it, but Stiles is pretty sure that has to do with the brand new Percy Jackson he has his nose buried in. At least Laura bribes properly.

He flicks a paper football to Cora, who catches it with a crow of delight, "Literally no idea. Soon. I guess Scott and I just have to wait to be woken in the middle of the night by fairies."

"Did Deaton have anything to say about it?" Cora asks.

He shook his head, "I told him about it, and he got the look on in face - you know the look, it's my look, only I do that to him - and then he told me to go away and started to pull down old books. I sent Emily and Braeden over to help him. They seem more at ease around Alan."

"Wonder why," Kevin says, rolling his eyes as he comes out of the kitchen with four mugs of hot chocolate balanced in his arms, "Stiles, dear Stiles, my soon to be son-in-law, you and your coven are freaks of nature. Emily and Braeden are extremely powerful, and can barely keep up with you. You're casually discussing going toe to toe with the _Fae_. Obviously they're more comfortable with Alan."

Stiles accepts his mug of hot chocolate with a pout, "It's not our fault we're fabulous." All the Hales roll their eyes. "Whatever. Where's your wife?"

"With your boyfriend. There's some sort of pack dispute going on in New York, and Mark's been working as a front man, but they really need an alpha up there. Mark's flying down while Grampa Paul handles things, he'll be here tomorrow, and then him and one of them is flying back to handle it."

"What kind of dispute? Why doesn't Laura fly there and handle it?" Stiles frowns.

Laura smirks, "Land dispute. A couple of surrounding packs are making a fuss about how much Hale land there is with so few Hales to occupy it. I already did my part of negotiations, now I'm sending either Mom or Derek to handle the rest."

" _You're_ sending-?" Laura's smirk widens into a smile, and her eyes flash red. "Hey! Dude!" He abandons his hot chocolate to launch himself at Laura, nearly kicking Pete in the head as he does so. "You came into your alpha powers, that's so cool!"

She grins, hugging him back hard before pushing him away, "It is."

Stiles twists to look at a gently smiling Kevin, "Wait, then what are you guys going to do?"

Kevin shrugs, "Talia and I are going to wait until Cora graduates, but then we'll be moving to New York."

Pete pumps a fist in the air without looking up from his book. Laura is back to braiding his hair, "I'm so down."

Stiles pouts, "But that's so far away!"

"So make a portal or something," Pete turns a page, "Beam me up Scotty, and all that. You're not really taking advantage of this lord over all magic thing, are you?"

Cora snorts, and Stiles doesn't have a response for that, so he flicks a paper football at Pete's face. It hits his book.

 

"I want to make a portal," Stiles says to his coven eagerly.

"You want to what?" Emily says blankly.

Lydia flicks a page in her magazine, "Okay."

"Couldn't you just use the fae's?" Danny scratches his nose, "They travel along ley lines. You could probably hijack them."

Stiles frowns, "I want a portal everyone can use."

"You can't _make a portal_ ," Braeden insists, "it's impossible."

Lydia fold over her page and sets down her magazine, "All right, let's make a portal."

"Guys," Danny groans, "you're going to make me plot ley lines, aren't you?"

Lydia and Stiles smile, and it's a little evil. "You can't feel ley lines!" Emily says, sounding betrayed, "No one has magic that sensitive!"

Danny and Stiles scoot back from the table as Lydia twists to face Emily and Braeden. "Honey, I think we've been pretty patient with you two these past couple of days, but let's get something very clear. I am a Banshee with an exceptional grasp on death magic. Danny is an Earth focused witch with enough precision and control to heal without touch but also to feel ley lines. Stiles is the High Mage, he is emissary to the Earth herself, and holds power over all those of light magic. _Can't_ and _impossible_ aren't words that we deal with. You were chosen for your exceptional ability, and the adaptability of your magic. I suggest you remove those words from your vocabulary as well, because we don't deal with average. If you want average, there are plenty of other covens which will be more than happy to have you."

Emily and Braeden are pale when they slide their eyes to Stiles. He smiles, just a little upturn of his lips at the corners, and leans forward to grab each of their hands. His eyes glow silver, and he says, "We're not normal. We're something the world hasn't seen for a long time, and all the rules you've spent so long learning about what can and can't be done - screw it. We don't play by the rules. We make them."

They both swallow before Braeden says, "Let's make a portal."

 

Stiles is stretched out on the couch and his dad is in the armchair flipping through the channels when Derek comes striding in and throws himself on top of Stiles. "I am scarred _for life_."

Dad rolls his eyes, and Stiles rubs up and down his boyfriend's back, "Uh, why?"

"Have Danny and Mark ever met before?" he asks, voice a little muffled since his face is pressed into Stiles's chest.

"Uh, yeah? I mean, kind of. I don't think they've ever hung out or anything. Why?"

"They're having sex in Cora's bedroom as we speak," Derek moans.

Dad starts coughing and Stiles gapes at the crown of Derek's head, "What?"

"Don't make me talk about it," he begs, "please, let's just never, ever talk about it."

"Mark's like, what, twenty eight?" Stiles asks, "That's - that's kinky as hell."

"That's illegal," Dad sighs, but doesn't seem too upset about it.

Stiles grins, "Actually, Danny's already eighteen. I didn't know Mark liked dick," he pokes Derek's side.

Both his boyfriend and his dad make pained sounds at his word choice. "He doesn't! He didn't. Oh my god, why are we still talking about this? Can we please stop talking about this?"

"So Danny's definitely consenting to this?" his dad asks, because his son is dating a man who's five years older than him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't worry.

"Enthusiastically," Derek whimpers, "and Laura is just sitting downstairs cackling."

Dad still looks a little uneasy with this, so Stiles raises his eyebrows. He shakes his head, sighing, "If Daniel is old enough to kill and risk his life and save the lives of others, then he's old enough to decided who he wants to have sex with. Besides," he shifts uncomfortably in his chair, "Mark's not the first older man he's been with. I know the type of guy he picks up at the jungle."

Stiles scrunches his nose, "You know what Derek, you're right, this is super awkward. Let's go to yours?"

He can see the flush rising up on the back of Derek's neck, and when he peeks up Stiles waggles his eyebrows. Dad groans, "Oh my god, get out of my house."

"See you later Dad!" Stiles calls cheerfully while he drags his red faced boyfriend outside.

 

He sees Danny later that day and grins. The older boy rolls his eyes and shoves him, "Shut up. He - it was - why am I even here?" he asks Cory helplessly.

She shrugs, legs flung over Isaac's lap. "Probably because Lydia threatened you."

"You just _stuttered_ ," Jackson narrows his eyes, "You actually like him, don't you?"

Danny opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Cory points a threatening finger in his direction, "You better like him. He likes you."

His mouth clicks shut and a smile spreads across his face, "He does?"

"Yeah, it's pathetic. Couldn't you have at least graduated high school before throwing yourself at him, though? Way to make him feel like a cradle robber."

"I couldn't help it," Danny makes a helpless gesture, "He was just standing there looking all... and his mouth was so..."

Everyone starts cracking up, although Derek still looks faintly traumatized.

 

It's the night of the full moon, and he's gathering the supplies he needs to officially initiate Emily and Braeden when a very persistent fairy flies in front of his face and starts gesturing emphatically. "Oh no," he says, "look, I have something I need to do tonight. Can't this wait for tomorrow?"

He shakes his head, gesturing outside.

Stiles drops the candles on his bed, and picks up his phone and sends two quick text messages, one to Derek and the other to Lydia. "Okay, let's go."

Scott is waiting for him when he get there, and the sun has barely set. "Yo," he says with an easy grin.

"'Sup," Stiles knocks their shoulders together and waves at Charlie, "Ready to jump down the rabbit hole with me?"

"Always," Scott promises before grabbing his hand and pulling them both down.

 

It's five in the morning when the same fae girl as before drops them off, and they hadn't drank or eaten anything, they weren't stupid, but they were drunk as hell anyway. Charlie nuzzles Stiles's side, and he giggles while petting the unicorn's neck. "Dude," Scott's lying spread eagle next to him, "dude, we're priests."

"I don't think we're priests," he mutters, arm thrown over his eyes, "we're like, officiates, or something. Why is the sun so bright? Can you turn it off?"

Stiles flexes his fingers, "Let's not find out. We should probably start making our way home."

"I don't think I can walk," Scott said honestly, "I also didn't know I could get drunk. What the hell did they do to us?"

"Who knows?" Stiles pushes himself up, and beams when he look at his blood and bruise free body. "Nice. Apparently all it takes to get a little respect is to end a millennia old feud. Good to know."

"How long until the fae drunk thing wears off?" Scott mutters.

Stiles pokes his best friend in the side, "A few more hours. But it's still mostly dark out. Do you know what that means?"

"That at least no one will see our inability to walk in a straight line?" Scott groans.

He pulls himself to his feet, steadying himself with a hand on the unicorn's back. "Charlie owes me a favor for being a dick. Let's ride the unicorn."

Scott makes a sound of disbelief even as he shakily stands, "We are not riding the unicorn."

"We are riding the unicorn," Stiles says, "now give me a boost." Charlie snorts and bends on his forelegs. Stiles clambers on, "Ah, thank you Charlie. So you see Scott, _I'm_ going to ride the unicorn. You can walk back if you want, but that just makes you a huge loser. Are you a huge loser Scott?"

Scott rubs the back of his head, "Dude, this is kind of gay."

"Dude, we're kind of gay. I'm in love with a man. We've made out. And don't think for one second I haven't seen those looks you give Isaac. Which might actually work out, I bet Cory is just the kinkiest little shit deep down."

Scott flushes red and hauls himself up onto Charlie. "Shut up," he wraps his arms around Stiles's waist, "We're riding into town shirtless on the back of silvery unicorn named Charlie while drunk off our asses from fae magic."

"We've made all the correct life choices," Stiles says happily before urging Charlie forward.

 

"...What the fuck am I seeing?" Allison demands, blinking.

The Sheriff rubs his hand over his face, "They seem okay. Physically. I'll leave you two to deal with this." He claps Derek on the shoulder as he goes back inside.

He and Allison share a quick glance before following the Sheriff. "Rude!" Stiles calls out, but giggles after. "Dude, you think we can go through Starbucks drive through on a unicorn?"

Scott rests his chin on Stiles's shoulder, "One way to find out."

Even Charlie seems exasperated by them, but dutifully heads toward the Starbucks.

 

When Stiles wakes up again he's curled on top of Scott's chest and they're in Isaac's old bed in the Hale House. He pokes Scott in the side until his eyes flutter open, "Do you have a magical hangover?"

Scott stretches without dislodging Stiles, "Nope. Although two very important things: I cannot believe we got drive through on a unicorn, and how the hell did we get here?"

Stiles wracks his brain but shrugs, "I think Charlie dumped us on the front steps and Laura dragged us up here? I'm pretty sure that's how that happened."

They wander downstairs, and the Hales are seated around the breakfast table. "Want some food?" Cora offers, and Talia shuffles her paper in front of her face so she can pretend she's not laughing at them.

Stiles scratches the back of his head, "Thanks, but no thanks. Can we borrow your car?"

Kevin throws them the keys without looking up from his plate. Pete's staring at them and grinning, because he learned how to be a little shit from Isaac. "Have a good time last night?"

"Fae parties are the best parties," Scott says seriously. Stiles nods wisely, and both of them fake affront when the whole table starts laughing at them.

 

When Stiles gets home after dropping off Scott, his Dad has left for work and Allison and Derek have cleared out. He has twelve missed messages on his phone.

From Lydia he has _I literally cannot believe this. I'll initiate them as your second, but you owe me your soul and I'll kill you if you get murdered by fairies. Also the pack is going out to celebrate after so try not to need our help._

Shortly after that Derek sent him: _Be safe. Allison and I will be waiting at your place when you and Scott get back._

The rest are from various members of the pack, and read:

_DUDE ISAAC KISSED CORY_

_you owe me so much money guess what just happened_

_Isaac just punched a guy who tried to kiss Cory._

_OH NEVERMIND THAT Isaac is kissing Cory._

_She's so conflicted cause she wanted to punch the guy herself but she's also happy Isaac is kissing her this is hilarious._

_you will not believe what is going on RIGHT NOW_

_he did it he actually did it stilinski why the fuck aren't you here_

_YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

There are two more from Derek, sent from after he went home: _so on one hand Isaac isn't a virgin anymore and on the other I just heard my cousin having sex this is not my week I hate everything_

_Update I  don't hate everything as much as Peter hates everything I want to take a picture of his face right now and frame it._

Stiles is laughing so hard there are tears in his eyes, and he resolves to track down his boyfriend as soon as he showers.

 

It's not hard, when he steps into the loft Derek is reading a book seated in the armchair. "Anyone else home?" he asks, tugging the book from Derek's hands as he settles onto his lap.

"No, thank god," Derek cups Stiles cheek to run his thumb over his lips, "So, now that you're sober, want to tell me what happened with the Fae?"

Stiles starts rocking his hips against Derek's, because why not, and Derek clenches both hands against his hips, "They needed us to marry the prince of the Light Fae to the princess of the Dark Fae - it can only be done by the High Mage and High Alpha, since we lead both magics, and guess the last time there was a couple of those who could get along long enough to do it? A really long time."

Stiles breath has started to turn shallow as Derek meets his thrusts, "That it? No negotiations, no war?"

"Nope, and they even gave me a few tips about how to set up portals. And the after party was fucking awesome," his eyes flutter shut, and he rests his hands on top of Derek's. "What about you? Heading to New York anytime soon?"

He shakes his head, "Nah, Mom's going to handle it."

"Good," Stiles breath hitches, "You know, it was very, very mean of you to leave a drunk Scott and I to our own devices." He still his hips, and clenches his thighs around Derek's so he stops too, "I think you're going to need to make it up to me."

"And how do you propose I do that?" Derek growls, straining his hips to get a bit of friction.

Stiles leans down to drag his lips against his boyfriend's ear before whispering, "I think you're going to have to let me fuck you up against a tree. It's the only way I'll be able to forgive you."

Derek laughs and turns Stiles's face for a deep kiss, "That can be arranged."

"I love you," Stiles says, forehead tipped against his boyfriend's.

"For the rest of my life," Derek promises before kissing him again, "Forever and always."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you liked the story. Just so you all know, after the Christmas fic I'll be marking this series COMPLETE. However if you want to drop by my tumblr (shanastoryteller) I am always happy to take prompts, including from this universe! :D Thanks for reading <3


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